I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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