you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
