susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
