a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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