I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize