I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize