The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
my being single is dangerous.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know her cup size but not her name....
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