My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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