FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
