I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize