Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize