she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
