Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
