NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
