a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm gonna fight the coyote
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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