he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
