so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
