The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
