Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Houston, we have a blender
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize