sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
