Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
