That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
