Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
