Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
