Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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