I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
