I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
