Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
