if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
