took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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