He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
