Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
