we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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