Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
