bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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