Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
