I am spending my child support on dildos
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
