Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
