On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
