I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
