Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just googled if crying burns calories
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize