You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
