Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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