new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
