problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I sprained my soul last night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
