i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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