I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
