So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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