my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
