That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
