he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
