brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
