I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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