You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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