Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize