"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
