walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
