what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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