I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize