Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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