They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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