How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
