you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
