I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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