her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize