Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Bring me that man meat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
