they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
