hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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