4 words: hood of his car
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
