And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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