the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
